Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
