problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
