I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You have to summon your inner elephant
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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