I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Of course I have a pirate flag
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
