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it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Blood and glitter go together right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
