I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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