I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You made out with two different species that night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
