the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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