would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize