I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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