my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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