You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
