I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ambien. No doubt about it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
