Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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