my vag is so smooth its legendary
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
