it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
