just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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