Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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