I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
