Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I checked into jail on foursquare
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
