hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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