Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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