So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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