I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
