I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
