you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
