is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
