Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
