He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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