Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
