dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
