I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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