let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
