I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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