Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
