Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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