No period for spring break; use this wisely.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
