who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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