I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Randomize
