Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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