What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
