Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My friends, they love my intelligence
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
