A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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