do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
