at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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