"it" just moved
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
