I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
