His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have demons in me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
