Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
