I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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