only you would photoshop your dick
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
